Please note that grief looks different for everyone and there is no timeline on how you feel or what you feel. These stages can come in waves, or you may not experience a specific stage. They can come and go throughout your grieving process and that is okay.
One might struggle with the acceptance of a terminal illness diagnosis or the loss of your pet. You may feel that you’re waking up after a bad dream and that life without your pet is not reality. Denial is often the first stage of grief and loss. This stage can come on strong, and it can come in waves. In fact, all the stages of grief can be present off and on while you’re processing the loss of your beloved pet. This is all very normal occurrence and important to acknowledge.
After losing a loved one, we might find we are holding onto a lot of anger. This anger can be pointed at ourselves or our Veterinary care team. It may be pointed towards our loved ones or strangers. Grief is complicated! With complicated emotions, our brains tend to lean towards the initial feeling of anger while our grief tries to figure out how to process the deeper, more complex emotions. Many people experience this as they go through their grief journey.
We may plead with our Veterinary care team to keep our pet alive when sometimes, despite their very best efforts, it is simply not possible. We might try to bargain with a higher power for just one more day. In this stage, we might find ourselves questioning the “what ifs” which is tied to our pain of the loss we are experiencing.
Grief can lead to more serious depression. We may have never experienced depressive symptoms before our loss of our pet. We can experience things like prolonged sadness, crying, lack of appetite or overeating, sleeping more or less than usual and potentially suicidal thoughts. If you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, please call 911 or go to your nearest hospital for help. Below, there are resources for the Iowa Crisis Line as well as the National Crisis line.
Having accepted the loss of your pet doesn’t mean you no longer love them or that you no longer miss them. Acceptance of the loss is being able to live day to day without feeling overwhelmed by the sadness you may have felt right after the loss of your pet.
Your life has seemingly changed overnight. However, your grief presents is unique to you. At Iowa State Lloyd Veterinary Medical Center, we care about you and your beloved pet. Please reach out to our Veterinary Social Worker for assistance with locating local resources or questions regarding your loss and grief.
*We acknowledge that many people refer to their beloved pet as family members and companions. Please note that as we discuss the stages of grief and loss with our use of our word “pet” we also acknowledge that there are many other terms of endearment one might use.
